The friends and family plan

When I started seeing a Therapist to better understand my Transgender self, and because it is required to if you want to have the final surgery, one of the first things she told me (I had read it previously on the Internet) was to be prepared to lose half your family and all your friends. A truer statement was never uttered. I've only told two people in my family so far, and my two closest friends. One of the two family members I have told of my transition was my sister. She has pasted on now, but she accepted it right off. I'm not telling my two brothers because they are both Macho males and it wouldn't turn out well. I will tell them when I can no longer hide it. (after surgery) My friends however are a different story. They are both fine with it as long as were not seen in public together. I have my theories as to why they feel this way. The biggest reason I believe is that they don't want people to judge them. I know it must be hard to see and accept a friend that you have known all your life suddenly become someone that looks and acts completely opposite. It has been my experience that men have a much harder time accepting Transgender friends than females do. It makes me sad and a bit angry at their attitude. It took me decades to accept who I really was, so I can't expect them to do it in a few short months. Even if it takes them years I'll live with it, I just won't like it. I led a dual life for so long it is now very hard to go back to dressing like a man just to hang out with them. I loathe going back and forth between male and female but I will for a while because I want to keep my friends. Again after my surgeries they will have to make the choice if they have not up to that point. I hope they choose in favor of our friendship. Something tells me they won't. It will be their lose.

Never give up!

Ok girls let's face it, time takes its toll. From the moment we turn twenty-five gravity starts working against us. So my question is: How old is too old to dress sexy? The clothes we wore in our twenties and thirties don't quite look as good in our forties and fifties (unless you workout constantly).  Work, kids, life in general, does not always allow for us to keep our bodies in tip-top shape. I believe you should wear whatever the heck you want. Show some leg and cleavage, go braless once in a while, the girls need to be seen.

As long as you are comfortable with your own body why not. Men of all ages love to look, why not give them a little excitement.  It always makes me feel better when I catch someone checking me out.
Heels instead of flats, a tight skirt instead of old lady jeans. A low-cut blouse or even just unbutton one more button. We all want to feel desired no matter what our age(we lie about it anyway). Try red lipstick and long red fingernails once in a while. I know your partner will appreciate the extra effort. If you don't have a special person in your life, all of this might just bring you one.

So let me hear from you. We are only limited by the limits we place on ourselves. 

Skanks, Sluts and Whores

Why is it that if a woman has a healthy sexual appetite others label her as a Slut?
The age old double standard. Men can sleep around and they or revered by their peers. Yet if a woman sleeps with more than one person in a short period of time they're called whores or skanks especially by other women. We as sexual beings are driven to have sex. Even the media teaches us that having multiple sex partners is not a bad thing. I being a self proclaimed Slut, and I use that term to be humorous, love having (safe) sex. Having multiple partners is no different than eating different flavors of ice cream. Vanilla is good and you always enjoy it, but sometimes chocolate or strawberry is what you crave. A woman should be able to enjoy a sexual relationship with as many people as she wants without fear of bullying from her peers.

To be or not to be

She in my view was the most gorgeous girl in school. There is always one. I'm happy to say she was my friend. We had several classes together and occasionally were partners in some project due by the end of the semester. She always wore the latest fashion from the best stores. Everything about her was perfect. Nails, long Brunette hair, posture, even the way she spoke. When she walked down the halls of our school she was both hated and adored, the envy of every other girl, including me. She could have worn a plastic bag and still, all the boys in their hormone filled youth wanted her as their girlfriend. I myself like all the others wanted her. My wanton was twofold, Like the boy's I wanted in her pants. Like the girls, I wanted her clothes. OMG! her shoes were to die for. I could never bring myself to ask her if she would let me try on any of her things. In my minds eye, we spent many after-school hours studying (not) trying on outfits and different ways to do our hair and makeup. I would have collapsed into a ball of pure ecstasy given the chance just once to wear anything she had. Most of the people I hung out with in school were girls. (geez! I wonder why) I was no threat to them being just a smart skinny kid who helped them with their school work. I looked more like a seventh-grade girl than a teenage boy. I was more interested in their clothes and makeup than anything else. Not that I wouldn't have jumped at the chance to make out with any of them. That never happened. I spend countless hours every day observing everything I could to learn about being a teenage girl in hopes I might get the chance to actually to dress like one during school. I always knew I was a girl, I just wasn't allowed to be one. It wasn't until my Junior year before I actually told someone about my real self, but that's a story for later. 

Sanctuary

Rushing home from school as fast as I could. My real life waited patiently behind the closed doors of my sister's bedroom. In my mind, it was really my room. I just had to share it with her. The walls were painted pink with white accents around the door frame and windows. Curtains of white lace tied back to let in the golden sunlight.  My closet filled with so many dresses and skirts it took my breath away. Shoes lined the floor as well as several shelves just inside the door. A lighted makeup table, its surface covered with every imaginable item a teenage girl might need to make herself the most beautiful girl in school. This was my haven, this was where longed to be. I absolutely abhorred boy clothes. I languished each day until I could once again go to my place solace and be rescued from torment. After spending the entire day watching all the girls in my high school, here I was finally able to transform myself into one of them. My biggest regret was that it lasted such a short time. So few minutes spent as the girl inside before once again I was imprisoned in the shroud of boyhood. My dreams would come at night, there too I would become myself once more. Each night in the silent darkness wishes and prayers are sent out in hopes of waking to find my life transfigured forever. 

My First Memory

My first memory of being a girl is when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade. Everyone one was filing into the classroom. I was already at a desk when it happened. The cutest little girl you ever saw walked into the room wearing a pink and white Easter dress. A vision of things desired. The dress festooned with lace and ribbons, black patent leather shoes and a big pink bow holding her ponytail. Although I did not know what I was feeling or even how to describe it. I wanted that dress. I wanted to be her. I wanted everyone to see me in such a beautiful dress. I wanted that dress as much as I wanted Christmas to come tomorrow. I also knew it was wrong to want things like that. Little boys did not wear dresses nor bows or even little white tights. I did. A child's mind isn't filled with social or political correctness. A child wants what a child wants. No reason why, no I'm a boy, I'm a girl.
I just knew I wanted to wear that dress now and everyday for the rest of my life.

Welcome my Darlings

Lady Victoria is a 40 something Transgender female living out all of the fantasies and adventures she'd dreamed about since she was a young girl trapped in the wrong body.

I hope you enjoy my musings.